Well, it looks as if I haven’t been on here for a long time and what do you know, summer is here! And I’ve changed my mind again.
Changing your career so that you are mostly working from home and do lots of different things sounds really good, and I still think it’s something to look into. However, I just haven’t found what it is that I wish to do, and I just can’t see it happening any time soon. Ideally, I’d have a part-time job and then do something from home the rest of the week.
My change of heart is not just because, not having many talents, I can’t actually do anything without having to fork out for expensive training. No, I’ve also had my first PDR session to discuss my work and future plans. I hate these meetings. Hate them with a passion. I find it excruciating having to write my evidence, then meeting my manager, who has to provide his evidence and then I get really embarrassed because it feels wrong talking extremely positive about myself, an then – even worse – my manager has to talk really positive about me… It’s just a nightmare.
However, something nice happened. My manager more or less said that I was doing so well, he didn’t expect me to stay for long before applying for a higher pay grade.Well, that’s not something you hear very often. And he even asked what he could do to help me get there! And despite the horribleness that is called a yearly performance meeting (or whatever they call it now), I left feeling really positive and ready to rock. A bit of genuine positive feedback, and eh presto – I’m forgetting all about becoming a basket weaver, gardener and writer. No, I am actually satisfied with where I am and what I do. Having overcome the first few months of being annoyed with myself for having taken the job in the first place, I enjoy my work. Not every day, and there is a lot of stuff that frankly is totally irrelevant to the development of human kind, but I am having a good time at work most of the time.
I still think doing something else than just nine to five is important, and I won’t give up finding what it is that I want to do. But at least I do not have that burning desire anymore to find something super special. Although I am still intrigued by that blacksmith day course I saw. And the dry walling…
Tara, so long!